I went in to school today. Nothing went as planned and I basically accomplished nothing. We are all stressing out with what is to come. This year will be one of many changes and I think we're all nearing that final straw. Sadly, we haven't even had the faculty meeting from you-know-where that occurs every year at this time.
I like to think I'm a very good listener, and I tend to listen to a lot of people talk about their problems and worries, but today I either heard too many or just wasn't in the right frame of mind for it. It's got me discouraged and feeling panicky. Not what I want to be feeling.
Change is hard, and the older I get the more difficult it gets. Yet, I continually remind myself that many changes which I hated at first turned out to be good things. The increasing demands being placed on me as a teacher along with what feels like too much change all at once is getting to me.
Let's see...we have a new writing program, a new math program, a new grading program, a new computerized assessment program, a requirement to maintain a classroom webpage, the mandates for us to "team" seems to be taking away my ability to make decisions for my own class and also make me conform to everyone else on my team rather than using my creativity and some of my biggest strengths as a teacher. The latest rumor is we need to write specific lesson plans in a specific way. My school is in school improvement, so there's all the stress from that too.
Now I'm guessing I might like many of these changes, but change takes time to incorporate. I just spent an entire summer getting ready for the change in the writing program. We're getting NO training on the new math program, but are expected to teach it on day 1. I'm stressed about when and how I'm going to manage all this and still try to have a life outside of school.
I hope and I pray that it will be easier once I meet my kids and get going, but right now I just wonder why I do this.
Sorry for the rant, just had to get it out of my system, so why not complain publicly? LOL