I went in to school today. Nothing went as planned and I basically accomplished nothing. We are all stressing out with what is to come. This year will be one of many changes and I think we're all nearing that final straw. Sadly, we haven't even had the faculty meeting from you-know-where that occurs every year at this time.
I like to think I'm a very good listener, and I tend to listen to a lot of people talk about their problems and worries, but today I either heard too many or just wasn't in the right frame of mind for it. It's got me discouraged and feeling panicky. Not what I want to be feeling.
Change is hard, and the older I get the more difficult it gets. Yet, I continually remind myself that many changes which I hated at first turned out to be good things. The increasing demands being placed on me as a teacher along with what feels like too much change all at once is getting to me.
Let's see...we have a new writing program, a new math program, a new grading program, a new computerized assessment program, a requirement to maintain a classroom webpage, the mandates for us to "team" seems to be taking away my ability to make decisions for my own class and also make me conform to everyone else on my team rather than using my creativity and some of my biggest strengths as a teacher. The latest rumor is we need to write specific lesson plans in a specific way. My school is in school improvement, so there's all the stress from that too.
Now I'm guessing I might like many of these changes, but change takes time to incorporate. I just spent an entire summer getting ready for the change in the writing program. We're getting NO training on the new math program, but are expected to teach it on day 1. I'm stressed about when and how I'm going to manage all this and still try to have a life outside of school.
I hope and I pray that it will be easier once I meet my kids and get going, but right now I just wonder why I do this.
Sorry for the rant, just had to get it out of my system, so why not complain publicly? LOL
Change is always hard and you and your school colleagues are experiencing change from so many sources. I wish you smooth sailing in the weeks ahead and not too much more "moving of the cheese"... Hugs <3
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nessa. I'm tired of looking for the cheese right now. :P But I'll get over it.
DeleteDon't apologize for your rant! It made me feel better about my recent panicky feelings! Every year brings new challenges that we face as educators. It seems like there is always something new, no wait ten new things that we have to implement while we conntinue to do the other MILLION things well. I totally get where you are coming from and feel like we can all relate to your frustrations. I think your positive attitude is the key to "getting through it." Like you said, after you become more familiar and confident with all of these changes most of them might end up being GREAT! Chin up, tomorrow is another day and we can only do what we can do :)!
ReplyDeleteSent From My iPad
Thanks for your encouraging words, Nikki. I'm glad I'm not the only one. I really am trying to keep a positive attitude, it's just no always easy.
DeleteJoell
Dear, sweet Jo...He will help you get through this, one day at a time, just like He helps all of us. And like Nikki said...you can only do what you can do. Leave the rest up to Him. Love you bunches & bunches, girl! <3
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear that your year is off to a rocky start. That IS a lot of newness happening in your building...one day at a time and remember to breathe...even if it's under your desk while your kiddos are out of your classroom. :)
ReplyDeleteA Pirates Life for Us
Dont worry, Joell
ReplyDeleteI feel the exact same way. I think this year will be a bit overwhelming. I am just hoping it might get better. Don't worry when you meet the students I am sending you will be so happy.
Angela,
DeleteI'm glad to hear I'm getting some good kids from you. I tend to deal with this stuff better once I've met the kids. It reminds my why I go through all the yucky stuff.
Thanks for visiting my blog. :)